The great big rollercoaster of life.

Hey!

Well, I don't know how to start this off but... I'm broken, still not feeling comfortable at home.
It really sucks, I don't feel like doing ANYTHING anymore, and I just feel empty...
Why? Well, my "relationship" is over. She met someone else.

It's just so weird... one day things are going great and it's fantastic to be with her, and the next... it's over. I never felt like this before, every "relationship" *wich was always like a week* wasn't so serious.
Sigh, I feel like I need to talk about it, but almost nobody understands it or thinks that she is just dumb and stupid for doing such a thing to me, and even after I explained the situation they still don't understand. I found one person who does understand me and who knows that when I get into a relationship I want to make that person happy, and nothing more. And if she is happy now with that other person, that also makes me extremely happy! But still, it feels like there still is something that I can't describe and is bothering me so much.

I've already seen them togheter... on the webcam, and it brought a tear to my eye. I just saw them smiling at eachoter, and... you could just see that they were so happy together! They were like... beaming happyness into the room. It kinda hurted, knowing that I would've never made her that happy.
Sigh, look at me just babbeling about love, and broken hearts, and making people happy :P
Even now, I thought that it might bring some relief to me, now that i've written all this down, but I still feel like something is bothering me... And I just can't figure out what. I need to see her, and I miss her so much... You know, when you haven't seen echother for a while, and when you hug, you smell their smell, feel their arms wrap around you... All those little things, even the slightest glimp that she could give me I miss...

Well okay... If I continue I might burst into tears so... Let's get this over with.
Did you guys ever think about... running away? Things are so f*cked at home, my mom yells at me, I yell at her. Dito for my dad... What the HELL am I still doing here? In this household, I'm cinderella and everybody is my evil stephmom.
Any advice anyone? Cause it's welcome

Well... I keep saying that i'll update more regularly and this time i'll try to do it.

Big hugs
Denise